When Star Wars met Tinder: This is what your favourite characters’ dating profiles would look like

0
197

It’s a big, lonely universe out there. When you’re caught up in a never-ending string of battles between government, rebels, the dark side and the light, it’s hard to find the time to flirt. If only those poor souls on Coruscant, Tatooine, Felucia, Hoth and beyond could catch up with the rest of us and have a go on Tinder.

In a galaxy far, far away, perhaps that’s what they’re doing. This is what our favourite characters would look like if they swapped their lightsaber swishing for thumb swiping and joined Tinder.

a Tinder profile for Rey
(Lucasfilm/Tinder)

Bio: “Hi, I’m Rey. Looking for someone to hang out with sometimes. Don’t expect me to sit around waiting for your calls or slave over a hot stove – I don’t have a kitchen or a phone and anyway I’m too busy providing for myself with whatever I can find on Jakku. Knights in shining armour need not apply, I’m perfectly capable of seeing to myself. I guess you should date me if you’re looking for someone who’s always up for going on adventures and trying new things. Oh, and I make an excellent pilot.”

Would swipe right for: “No one clingy. Eugh. Surprise me and I might think about it.”

Turn offs: “Not a big fan of mind readers (stay in your OWN head, please), Storm Troopers (they’re all the same), wusses.”

Chewie on Tinder
(Matt Stroshane/AP/Tinder)

Bio: “What’s up party people? Chewbacca here, or Chewie to my friends. I’m a pretty laid-back kind of Wookie. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very political guy and you wouldn’t BELIEVE some of the battles I’ve fought in with the resistance, but in my personal life I prefer to let loose a little. An ideal partner would be someone who is happy to wine me, dine me and comb my fur.”

Would swipe right for: “Someone who doesn’t mind a bit of non-verbal communication. I’m more of a physical being. Plus, we might struggle with the language barrier.”

Turn offs: “Closed-mindedness, baldness.”

Finn on Tinder
(Yui Mok/PA/Tinder)

Bio: “Yo, I’m Finn. I like to maintain an air of mystery, so please don’t ask about my past. Or my present, I’m just sort of taking things as they come. Also, why doesn’t Tinder let you join unless you’re 18? Just asking for a friend… I like ladies who know what they want and aren’t afraid to do whatever it takes to get it.”

Would swipe right for: “Someone to stare at (and possibly visit) the stars with.”

Turn offs: “High-maintenance girls.”

(Steven Senne/AP)
(Steven Senne/AP/Tinder)

Bio: ”On Tinder, I am. Get to know someone special, I would like to. I sense that you are looking for someone special too. Swipe right, you should.”

Would swipe right for: “I sense another member of my species may be using Tinder too. Or perhaps someone who feels attracted to small, green species. Using my mind powers to find these beings, I am.”

Turn offs: ”A lack of mind powers, impatience (I take a while to get my sentences out sometimes).”

Kylo Ren on Tinder
(Chris Pizzello/AP/Tinder)

Bio: “Hi. You probably know me as Ben, but call me that name and I’ll make you regret it. I go by Kylo now. Nobody understands me or my dark, mysterious powers, so I don’t expect you to get it. Swipe right if you think you’re superior enough.”

Would swipe right for: “Someone impressive. And evil. Impressively evil, if you would. They have to be into wearing black and frowning. Oh, and if you’re into masks and capes, that’s a plus.”

Turn offs: “The resistance. Goody-goody two shoes. People who wear anything other than black – it doesn’t fit with my aesthetic.”

Leia Tinder
(20th Century-Fox Film Corporation/AP/Tinder)

Bio: Hey I’m Leia, you might have seen me hanging out around Alderaan. I might be a princess, but don’t let the title fool you – I’ve got a quick wit and I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty. I’m looking for someone with a sharp mind and similar political opinions, I don’t date on the Dark Side.”

Would swipe right for: “A partner in defying the dark side of the force. Someone who knows their way around a lightsaber.”

Turn offs: “A lack of empathy, boring hairstyles, wimps.”

BB8
(Mark Lennihan/AP/Tinder)

Bio: “Bleep boop beep bleep bleep boop beep boop beep beep bleep bleep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep bleep bleep boop.”

Would swipe right for: “Boop beep boop beep beep bleep bleep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep bleep bleep boop.”

Turn offs: “Bleep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep bleep bleep boop bleep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep bleep bleep boop.”