New Stone Roses single more underwhelming than Louis Van Gaal’s philosophy

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I have a lot of love in my heart for The Stone Roses. Their music is like a soundtrack to some of the best times of my life. I brought the tape of their debut album with me to Italia 90 and almost wore it out. I saw the band in one of their last ever live performance’s in Cork in 1995. I’ve seen Ian Brown live six or seven times in the last decade. Mani even played at my 30th. (Well we went to a pub where he was supposed to be DJ’ing except he turned up mad out of it and with no records! That’s a story for another day) I’m one of the few people who actually likes their much reviled 1994 “comeback” album Second Coming and still regularly listen to it.

So you can imagine I was pretty excited yesterday to hear they were hours away from releasing their first new music in 21 years, a single titled “All For One”.

My excitement lasted all of a minute and a half. That’s all I needed to hear. I actually felt embarrassed for the band and had to switch it off.

On my second listen I thought it was even worse. The opening of the track sounds like something you might have heard on Bosco back in the late 80’s.

The lyrics, which are just repeated over and over, sound like they were written by a seven year old. Ian Brown singing “If we all join hands we’ll make a wall” actually made me feel ill. Why did they do this? Stone Roses music should make you feel great, this makes me want to stab myself in the head.

If a young unsigned band came out with “All For One” they’d be told to fook right off. The whole thing feels like a gang of old men trying to pass themselves off as The Stone Roses. And failing utterly.

If this is the best they can come up with after being back together nearly five years then they may knock it on the head.