Movie review: Knight of Cups – an utter waste of time

I’d like the last two hours of my life back. I literally looked at my watch seven times during this screening to see how much was left. All the respect Christian Bale gained from me for his turn as the caped crusader has been erased with this movie. If you can call it a movie that is, because it felt like a two hour long 90’s perfume advert, complete with women frolicking nude or nearly nude as we voyeuristically look on, while there is little dialogue and in its place ‘profound’ whisperings and voice overs instead.

knight of cups

Personally I’m confused as to why so many famous people signed up to this film; Cate Blanchett, Natalie Portman, Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Wes Bentley, Imogen Poots, Brian Denny… the list goes on. There are also a serious amount of famous cameos in the various L.A. party scenes.

But what is this film about? That’s the problem, because it’s supposed to be about a writer lost in this life, yearning for something or someone, but instead it’s just nonsense and art house pretentiousness. The camera follows Bale about as he looks confused or to the far off distance, which may look great in an advert for perfume, but not for two whole hours of a film with almost zero narrative or plot. If you enjoy interpretive art or like endless sweeping shots of landscapes and beautiful homes while no one really does anything but dance about or look confused, then this is the movie for you. Personally I prefer something that makes sense and doesn’t bore me to tears like this did. Funnily enough, the trailer makes more sense than the whole film.

1/5 stars

Released May 6th